Consider the Lilies

I just wrote this.  I think it’s a song.  But it needs music.  I’ll leave that to my husband.

A landing place, a landing place
I’m looking for a landing place
I’ve got no home or hiding place
but for your hands and feet and face.

A landing place, a landing place
I’m looking for a landing place
my footings have left without a trace
but for your arms and your embrace.

A landing place, a landing place
I’m looking for a landing place
I can’t keep running at this pace
I need to find a landing place.

A landing place, a landing place
I’m looking for a landing place
a place where “home” is more than place
I’m looking for a landing place.

When everything is up in the air
and it seems like life just isn’t fair,
all the strength I had just isn’t there,
and it feels like work just to sit and stare,
I need to find a landing place
a landing place, a landing place.
I need to find a landing place.

It feels like falling into outer space
until I fall down at the feet of grace.
Then I know I’ve found my landing place.
Yes, I know I’ve found my landing place.

Oh, it feels like falling into outer space
until I find my landing place.
And it’s in your arms, the arms of grace
outstretched for me upon that tree
as you cried for me and died for me
so I could have a landing place,
the place for me at the feet of grace,
where you lift my head to behold your face.
Yes, I know who is my landing place.

“How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in His excellent word….”

I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the Holy Judge
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
The Lamb Who is my righteousness

I will glory in my Redeemer
My life He bought, my love He owns
I have no longings for another
I’m satisfied in Him alone
I will glory in my Redeemer
His faithfulness my standing place
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace
My feet are firm, held by His grace

I will glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagle’s wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His triumph song I’ll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me it will be paradise
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold

Okay.  Very, very rarely.  I tend to leave all of my political opinions on Facebook as opposed to my blog.  But this is all I have to say today.  And yes, I used the A word.  Sorry.  But it’s about time we open up a can of that stuff on the idiocracy we have created.

Several years ago, in fact during our last major transitional life phase that took us away from a beloved church back home to California, almost 8 years ago, my husband and I went through an intensive study and self-examination process called Sonship. We did the studies and then had weekly discussions and prayer times over the phone with a counselor.  It was just what God knew we needed at that time in our lives.  And ironically (humanly speaking… divinely speaking, it wasn’t ironic at all, merely providential) we started that study before we knew we would be going through that major transitional phase in our life.  There were many wonderfully transformational moments throughout that study which, because of our move and life situation (unemployed and living with our two little boys at my parent’s house), took us approximately 8 months longer than it is generally supposed to take.  But one thing that I remember most clearly probably is something our counselor told me to do as I expressed my concerns about what God was doing with us.

He said, “Nancy, get under the promises.”

“Okay.  Explain….” I said.

“Don’t worry about the fact that you haven’t been able to manage a regular formal Bible study time right now.  Don’t beat yourself up for not being disciplined enough to manage that.  Just get under the promises.”  And he sent me to the Psalms.

I have remembered his instruction to this day.  And today, or I should say tonight as it is currently 12:07 a.m., I am feeling the strong need to get under the promises as I am stressing out about several things from how much I have left to pack and how much I dread doing it every day, how sad I am to say goodbye to so many dear, dear friends, how God will direct and provide for us once we are back in California, how emotionally and physically exhausted I am, whether or not all of the necessary paperwork will come in on time for our departure, whether the house sale will close as planned on the day it is set to, how my kids are going to keep doing school through all of this, how our marriage will hold up through all of the stress and challenges that we are facing and will face… among other things.  How can I combat all of these swirling feelings in any other way than getting under the promises?

The promises are more than a blanket to comfort me.  More than a band aid to make me feel all better.  More than a roof over my head to make me feel protected.  They are all of those things, yes.  But they are so much more. They are wings like that of a mother hen over her chicks.  And that is where I am. In the shadow of His wings.

Some of the promises I am getting under tonight are these…

I Peter 5:7 cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Psalm 42:5-6a Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Jeremiah 29:11 “…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…”

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Matthew 28:20b And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

And perhaps my favorite one of all…

Zephaniah 3:17  The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

I do not want to be one that He could say this to, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!”

No. I want to say this, “Psalm 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.”  I SING.  I don’t just hover or cower.  I don’t just hide there quaking.  I SING even as He rejoices over me with loud singing!

But the shadow of His wings… where is that really?  Where else, but in the shadow of his outstretched arms on the cross.  That is where I am hiding myself.  The place where I can sing.  In the shadow of the wings of the Almighty son of God who endured all things for my sake and yours that He might be able to gather us to Himself.

	Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
	the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
	When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
	Help of the helpless, O abide with me. 

	Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
	earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
	change and decay in all around I see;
	O thou who changest not, abide with me. 

	I need thy presence every passing hour.
	What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
	Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
	Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me. 

	I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
	ills have no weight, tears lose their bitterness.
	Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
	I triumph still, if thou abide with me. 

	Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
	shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
	Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
	in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

It’s so not often that you can casually say, “So yeah… my buddy (you know the internet pal I worked for for over a year and met on a home school message board 6 or 7 years ago?) is having a movie made of her life… blah blah blah.”

But I can totally say that.

It’s kinda fun.

With visible breath, I’m calling your name
With visible tracks, I’m finding my way
With a sorrowful heart, I honor this pain
And offer these tears to the rain

In a moment of truth at the top of the hill
I open my arms and let go of my will

And stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I’ve known
For what I believe
Then I won’t stand alone
No I won’t stand alone

There’s a new pair of eyes to embrace all I see
A new peace of mind and it comes quietly
There’s a joy in my heart that you’ve given to me
And I offer this soul’s melody

So I beat on my chest till my song has been sung
And I cry like a wolf at the top of my lungs

And stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I’ve known
For what I believe
Then I won’t stand alone
No I won’t stand alone

When the thundering voices of doubt try to shake my faith, oh
I’ll be listening from inside out and I won’t be afraid to

Stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I’ve known
For what I believe
Then I won’t stand alone
No I won’t stand…I won’t stand alone

Yesterday was one of those days again. There seem to be so many of those days these days!

We had a dicey few days before the conditions on the sale of our house were negotiated out and everything became final. It was touch and go and we were not sure we wouldn’t have to go ahead and put the house back on the market. Thankfully God heard our prayers and answered with a YES! The sale went through last night so now we get to start packing in earnest. We are already pretty much half packed so we don’t have too much to do yet.

So that was happy.

But in all of the craziness of an out of country move to a place where we have no solid work lined up (though God is making things somewhat clearer and I’ll share more when I feel free to) and no housing lined up yet either, we had to wrestle with the question of whether or not our animals could come with us.

As you probably know, we have two very sweet dogs, Bruce and Sally. Here they are.

We love these dogs.  But the fact is we do not have the luxury of buying and moving straight into a new home.  My parents are willing to house Bruce (the Golden) while we settle in and possibly until we find a place that either allows large dogs or until we buy a house.  But they couldn’t manage two dogs.

We wrestled with this so much.  We put ads up and took them down and put them up again.  I did this about three or four times because I so did not want to do it.  But ultimately we came to the decision that we could not manage to bring both of them.  We have had Bruce longer and we know my parents can handle him if needed.  So we had to find Sally a new home.

I love my sweet Sally.  She has an amazing personality and is such a sweetheart so I knew that the family that we chose had to be absolutely ideal.  I prayed for this.  Our gracious and loving God even hears prayers on behalf of our pets.  I heard from several people but didn’t have a really great feeling about any of them until I heard from a family that lives literally two blocks from us.  They have BOYS!  Sally loves her boys.  The Dad likes to go fishing and would appreciate a canine partner.  And the Mom is at home for several months until she starts work again so Sally will have plenty of time to get accustomed to her new arrangement with lots of daily interaction.  And now she has a little baby to love on also.

We got an update on how she did her first night and apparently she sat by the backdoor for a good while waiting to be brought back home but also spent some time watching the baby jump in the jolly jumper.

The only reason I can stand this (though not without choking up) is that God found our sweet girl an equally sweet family that will love her as much as we do.

Sally, sweet Sally, we will miss you.  Your boys cried their eyes out (and so did I) for a good 20 minutes before feeling they could go on and eat dinner.  You will always have a special place in our hearts.

And Bruce misses you too…

Proverbs 12:10

A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, 
but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.

Sometimes you know something is right and you are moving in that direction and are still somehow surprised when God confirms every step of the way that it is all in His good plan. That would be right now for us.

We have known for several weeks now that deciding to resign and head back to California was the right thing for us to do. We didn’t have a ton of blazing road signs that screamed at us or pointed which direction to go. We just prayed and sought wise counsel and prayed some more and took one step at a time. And while we are not the type to look for or expect blazing road signs we have received confirmations at every turn, however blazing they may or may not have been.

But yesterday we seem to have received one fairly blazing sign that we are indeed on the right path and that He is weaving this story we find ourselves in. All last week my husband and I worked our tails off getting this house ready to go on the market. We honestly worked 12-15 hour days (he doing so between other work-related responsibilities) to get the house in tip-top condition. We had meetings and appointments every day. We had painters here, furnace people here, carpet cleaners here, our realtor here, house stagers here… and we squeezed some dental appointments in there too just for good measure. Not that we need clean teeth to sell the house… but we really just needed to get to the dentist before we find ourselves without coverage!

So we studied nearby homes and the prices they were selling for, we set a goal date by which we were hoping to close and through many dangers, toils and snares we got the house perfectly ready and on the market for a Saturday open house. We had a total of 5 formal showings outside of the open house and yesterday we received and accepted an offer on the house with the closing date that we desired, just after 5 days on the market.

That seems like a somewhat blazing road sign to me even though we would have been content with faint lines on the road if that’s all He decided to give us.

There are a few conditions but they are not likely to present any problems so we are prayerful and hopeful that we won’t run into any snags before closing day. We pack up and will be heading across that border, saying goodbye to our adopted homeland for the last time (though I’m sure we will visit again!) on March 31st, probably feeling a little bit like Abraham must have felt when God called him out of Ur but didn’t tell him just where He was taking him yet.

We know our general destination and thankfully we have a welcoming family who will take us in for a few weeks while we get our bearings and find ourselves a place to live and you know… hopefully a job.

The minute I found out that we had an offer on the house I jumped up and hollered with excitement but a split second later there was the strange realization that this thing IS happening. We ARE moving. We WILL be packing our things up and saying goodbye to our home, our neighbours, our dear friends and the places where our children have made almost all of their early childhood memories… the place to which we brought babies home and shared meals with friends and explored mountains and lakes and waterfalls and grand hotels in the sky.

Why and how God works will forever be a mystery to me. So many things are changing. Not just for us. There are so many people for me to pray for. People here. People at home in California. Old friends and new friends, each facing journeys and burdens and decisions that will alter the courses of their lives. I don’t know why I happen to know so many people who are going through such big changes and challenges all at once but it makes me aware of how nothing but the goodness and favor of God is sure in this life and that goodness and favor has many different faces which we often would be tempted to consider to be something other than the providence of a Holy God.

Every chapter we open and close is a chapter that He has written and we are to simply trust and obey the author knowing that He has the ending just as well in-hand as He does the very beginning, not only of our stories but of all stories. And He is weaving them masterfully together as only the author of all authors could, as only the one who writes writers into His story could. We may look at this thing He is weaving and wonder at it, thinking it is looking unwieldy and much too colorful for our taste, but guaranteed, He will be pleased with the outcome and will cinch up the ends and tie everything off at the proper time and in the proper place and in the proper way. And we simply have to read along, pray, trust and obey.

Through all the loops and curves and stitches and alterations… Do it in your own way Lord, but make us into something beautiful.